“What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.” — Leo Buscaglia

Maybe it’s finally time to rescue the concept of ‘the pursuit of happiness’ from the hands of the so-called self-help gurus. That’s the message in an article in Huffington Post by Roger Fransecky (”Happiness Is A Choice“).

Starting from considering the popularity of a Harvard course in positive psychology, the article explores the study of well-being — not the traditional topic of psychology, which has tended to be more interested in mental problems than how to enjoy life more. Continued

Coaching and counseling may be getting out of hand in Australia

The ‘Modern Times’ blog for The Age, an Australian newspaper, has an article weighing in against the rise in counselors and the situations where their help is invoked. As the author says: “Is there a counsellor in the house? Bleeding well hope so because the counsellor is the new apple. You need at least one a day.”

Is the increase in the use of counseling a sensible response to the stresses of modern times? Or is it like the euphemisms everyone uses to get around saying things that sound ‘nasty’: a way of sending unhappy, feckless or angry people far, far away, where they can’t upset us; while managing at the same time to convince ourselves that we’re helping them — just so long as we don’t have to deal with them ourselves, naturally. Continued

Instincts can be fatal for people as well as hedgehogs

Photo credit: Jörg Hempel

I recently came across this quirky article (“3 Things I Learned From Hedgehogs”) that draws parallels between the behavior of hedgehogs and people. It’s a somewhat forced comparison, but there are some sound points too.

When I lived in Great Britain, I saw plenty of hedgehogs, alive and dead. The live ones lived in my garden. You could find one most nights by listening for the snuffling and grunting sounds they seem to make all the time. The dead ones lay squashed all along the roads. The motor car is the biggest killer of the poor little creatures (for North American and other readers who have never seen a hedgehog, they’re rotund creatures roughly similar in size to a small possum). I suspect some drivers at least aim for them, since I drove thousand of miles a night in rural areas and never once, to my knowledge, hit a hedgehog in the road. Continued

How to use your time wisely by reflecting on experiences so you are free to make good decisions.

Webster’s Dictionary defines reflection as a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.

Reflection is not highly thought of today. Those of you who like to spend time reflecting may be accused of “doing nothing” and “wasting time in idle speculation.” If you take time to come to conclusions you are labeled a procrastinator. If you spend time with imaginative thoughts, you are a “dreamer” or accused of being idealistic and impractical. Modern society values immediate action. You are not given the time for reflecting on what that action should be. You’re expected to be able to select the correct action instantly, even though you have no basis on which to decide how to proceed.

This is ridiculous, and leads to all sorts of mistakes, when people are unable to take time to see the truth of what is required. The world is viewed through the ideas and values learned from the past. And that view will be faulty if those ideas and values are not sufficient for your to see clearly, or if they are obscured by falsehoods.

Will success only come about if you have experience you can call on? Are copying others or using standard approaches sufficient? Continued

You are the best person to know how to organize your life. No one else will be able to help you as well as you can help yourself.

Don’t be swayed by other’s ideas
There are many books and programs on the market with titles which have the words Self Help in the title. These books and programs are full of other people’s ideas.

Everyone of them is written by someone who discovered for themselves how to sort out their life to make it more enjoyable.

You can waste a great deal of time trying out some of these ‘How To’ books.

You can’t live your life through others’ ideas
Why is it that these books don’t really answer your questions? It’s because you are choosing to take someone else’s path, one that probably caused them a great deal of trial and error, but that is now written down as a simple plan. Continued

Setting up your own special days to celebrate key life events can give you more joy and contentment

Americans have many special days in the year which they celebrate. There are national holidays and also events like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day.

As an individual you can celebrate special days of your own. There will be birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, a new job, the birth of a child — the list goes on and on.

Choosing your special days
Do you choose to celebrate these events or do you just let them pass by as of no importance? Do you feel that birthday’s are only for kids and after a while you shouldn’t bother with them any more? What about your own special days? They don’t have to be birthdays or anniversaries. They can be anything you want them to be. Continued