Maybe all the injunctions to show your emotions and let it all hang out aren’t as sensible as their proposers claim

As a British person living in the United States, I quickly got used to all the stereotypes about cold, stuffy, screwed-up and up-tight Brits (doubtless wearing bowler hats and carrying rolled umbrellas) versus the open, emotionally-balanced, well-adjusted Yanks.

While I can see the benefit to some people of talking about their problems openly, I still nursed a basic aversion to telling perfect strangers about my troubles and deluging friends and family with raw emotion.

Now I have some scientific support, reported in the British magazine The New Statesman, but produced by Dr. Mark Seery of the University at Buffalo.

Dr. Seery studied the aftermath of the World Trade Center and Pentagon terror attacks of 9/1. He found that not talking about a traumatic event like this may be a more successful way of coping than the alternative: sharing your experience.

The survey of 3000 people found that those initially unwilling to talk were less likely to be adversely affected two years later.

When you look at the detail, I suspect that what he found was that people should choose whichever strategy words for them best, whether that’s to say nothing or discuss your feelings as openly as possible. No one should be forced to stay silent when they feel talking about it would help them. Equally, harassing people who prefer to stay silent and process their concerns and thoughts internally is also a bad idea.

As Dr. Seery says:

“We should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma.

“In fact, they can cope quite successfully and, according to our results, are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings.”

Pushing people into ‘correct behavior’ purely to satisfy some piece of fashionable dogma and pop psychology was never going to make sense.

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